Ladies and gentlemen in response to your popular demand for signs that your partner may be cheating I have complied a few red flags for you. Bear in mind that there is no hard and fast rule. Each couple is unique and incorporate individual characteristics that may have an impact on the manner in which they operate.
1. Accusations/Paranoia - When a person constantly accuses you of cheating. Many cheaters become paranoid about their partner’s activity because they know what they are doing and that they are getting away with it.
2. Consistent interest in you activities - When you are due to come home or visit their house, there seem to be a constant interest or questions about what you are doing and when you are doing it (this is usually so that the person can make plans for the mouse to play while the cat is away.)
3. Lack of interest- Equally when a person lacks interest in what you are doing this could be a sign of cheating because their interest is focused elsewhere.
4. Rejection- Too busy to make an effort for you. Cheaters often reject the things that are important to you or the things you like to do. So rejection and lack of interest go hand in hand.
5. Acting shady or secretive - Concealing their phone, hiding it under the pillow, their phone is switched off… or unavailable when you are trying to get hold of them…. He/she leaves the room when they receive a text or when their phone rings, that kind of thing.
6. Acting out of character - Taking extra time to groom themselves, dressing up, smelling of perfume or aftershave before they go out to ‘meet friends’… and or a profound change in their attitude towards you.
7. A long-term history of infidelity- Old habits die hard so if your partner has a long-term history of infidelity and you see other signs coherent with cheaters as mentioned in this article, it may be a possibility that he/she may be cheating again.
8. A drastic change in the bedroom- in some cases there is a reduction of activity in the bedroom or some cheaters perform new tricks in the bedroom that you haven’t explored with them, indeed some go to great lengths in an attempt to conceal their sordid behaviour and cover their deceitful tracks.
9. Argumentative with no cause - Remember…this can go both ways, the cheater may conjure up a reason to argue so that they can leave without the need to explain themselves… some are over accommodating in a plot to pacify their partner so their actions won’t be questioned.
10. Sudden constant overtime - If they are constantly working longer than usually anticipated and their level of finances is not coherent, this could be a sign that they are not actually working the hours they say that they are working.
11. A gut feeling- Some people are intuitive to signs that reflect demeanours of a cheat.
As I mentioned before there are other reasons that may cause a person to demonstrate signs coherent to cheating. This may include flawed boundaries childhood abuse, passed experiences, poor perception towards life- (Drug use and your own insecurities can also be contributing factors.)
What do you do if you wish to overcome infidelity and stay with your partner?
The first priority of couples coping with infidelity should be building trust again. This can best be achieved when they seek counselling as a team. Individual counselling is an option but this may build a wall of secrecy and additional challenges.