Keep the fire burning.
Love and relationship tips .
"And we have come to know and believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and the one who remains in love remains in union with God and God remains in union with him. (1st John: Chapter 4, verse 16)
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I provide relationship consultant sessions, mediation, support and relationship workshops.
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Relationships are based on love, loyalty and trust.
But how do you govern loyalty and trust?
Well trust is faith, isn’t it? and it’s formed by the person’s emotions and perceptions. And I’d say for the most part…TRUST and LOYALTY IS EARNED and gage by our experiences and because trust is absent from fear… it’s a vulnerable entity. And the same can be said for LOYALTY so it’s essential to evaluate the pros and cons of the commitment itself and the person or people you are dealing with because this will help you to establish the level of trust or loyalty that’s going to be required, if any at all. So ideally loyalty and trust should be CONTRACTS IN WHICH BOTH PARTIES BENEFIT…
Take for instance the issues I have with my memory, it has proven to me NOT to trust it! It is not loyal, it’s uncooperative, AND my trust has seldom been reciprocated, it’s appalling. I don’t trust it at all because it has revealed many, many times that it is NOT TRUSTWORTHY, so I will not commit myself to rely OR TRUST my memory! No, no, these days I use reliable means to back it up, like my notes and recordings. I refer to people as hon, babe, empress, sweetheart or darling (depending on who you are) because I’m mindful that I’m terrible with names and do not want to offend anyone. I will remember my experience I’ve had with you, but not your name.
The point I’m saying is… EVALUATE the evidence before you to establish if you should or shouldn’t trust or be loyal because the proof is always right there in the pudding. And with that in mind. Let’s look at a common cause for lacking trust loyalty and unity in relationships.
A common cause for lacking trust in relationships.
Programed beliefs and our social order.
Now Intimate relationships are diverse and complex to say the least and these days our social order doesn’t support loyalty, it doesn't support responsibility, patience or compromise because our relationship tolerance; and acceptance ARE PROGRAMMED according to the time frame that you are living in. In other words, there is always a mass subliminal frequency programming and it affect the way we think.
This is imposed upon us through; the Media, News reports, Soap operas, Films, Education, Comedy and most certainly Music. So our system seduces our social order by feeding THEIR RULES into your mind! But only if you let it. And because it is one of the most common and highest levels of disloyalty and a root of lacking unity it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t give a warning to those who have a tendency to cheat.
Some of my clients claimed that they’ve had affairs because their partner wouldn’t or couldn’t satisfy their needs in one way or another. Others have affairs to satisfy a pressing forbidden desire, some do it to prove a point or simply to impress their friends and some cheat just because they can. There are many excuses or so called justifications.
Now, it’s fair to say that as humans it’s natural to view another as attractive, our morals are tested all the time but your actions are benchmarks of your integrity. Actions like YOUR CHOICES, YOUR VALUES, AND YOUR DEDICATION. So the question is 'what frequency do you use to direct your decisions?
Believe it or not, some who are involved in these cheating games actually become deluded! Deluded to the point where they consider themselves as a keeper BUT! Here’s a news flash for you, the art of successfully attracting attention doesn’t guarantee that you will be viewed as an inviting long-term companion! Not at all. Bear in mind,, if someone is a cheat or is aware that they are with a taken partner, the chances they are going to entertain traits like being: LOOSE, IRRESPONSIBLE, SELFISH, DECEITFUL, TOXIC, VULNERABLE OR UNTRUSTWORTHY.
Clearly not the type to manage a meaningful intimate relationship. Would you agree?
AND here’s a REALITY CHECK
Infidelity is disloyalty and deception at its worse BAR NO EXCUSES! Because sex is deeply INTIMATE AND SACRED. In fact, it’s so power that it produces LIFE Itself! So when this frequency is betrayed or disrespected, the damage cuts deep! Real Deep! BECAUSE WHEN YOU CHEAT, YOU ARE CROSSING A BAR THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER CROSS! Why? because most casualties consume all kinds of emotions, a combination of anger, confusion, disappointment, distrust and betrayal.
For some, the scars of infidelity is FOR LIFE. So if the deception is NOT addressed effectively the conflict grows and the vicious cycle continues. Even if the couple can move on the painful memory won’t be erased because as I said the devastation and emotional trauma attached to infidelity is VERY powerful. And when you are broken inside. I MEAN REALLY BROKEN INSIDE it’s a real challenge to maintain any area of your life let alone KEEP THE FIRE BURNING in a relationship.
So be prepared to open the doors for progress, by focusing on supporting peace and tranquillity in your relationship. In other words, you must allow your partner to prove that they CAN indeed be trusted. Do not allow your fears to suffocate you or them, otherwise there is no point in trying to reconcile in the first place.
So the question is, in terms of integrity to your relationship what do you bring to the table? Are you a leader, a supporter, a lost soul or an abuser?
THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT!
The dynamics of relationships
Sometimes turbulent relationships happen because:
> Your expectations were unrealistic and then the reality hit home.
> Or your disputes seem impossible to resolve and so you’ve become emotionally disengaged.
WHAT YOU CAN DO?
The way forward
> You could Focus on your spouse’s good qualities.
> You could plan special time together. Alone! With no pressures!
> You could discuss your feelings and your concerns.
> You could become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another as advised in the bible at Ephesians Chapter 4: verse 32.