Keep the fire burning. 

A Taster of Rare Diamond's Articles

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"And we have come to know and believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and the one who remains in love remains in union with God and God remains in union with him. (1st John: Chapter 4, verse 16)

Loyalty and Trust.
 

As a relationship and personal development consultant I recognise that relationships, family life and emotions are fast wired, regardless how you juggle them around the outcome is the same.  Relationships and family life will affect your emotions; family life and your emotions will affect your relationship; emotions and your relationship will ultimately affect your family life, you cannot separate them. Therefore it is essential to assess your emotions, relationship and family life if you wish to manage these areas effectively. I created this page to offer support, information and relationship tips in line with my training, knowledge, research and personal experience. My intention is to provide problem-solving techniques to assist couples and singletons alike. 

Please Note these articles are subject to copyright.

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Love, challenges and thoughts.  

 

 

Source: abstract from 'Rare Diamond’s relationship and feelings manual' 

 

When a person is pursuing a desirable goal they acknowledge, undertake and work to tackle any associated obstacles that may arise. In terms of relationships, consider couples and those in the dating pool, many are mindful of the potential challenges and vulnerabilities related to intimate relationships yet they consciously embrace this path and work with it willingly to achieve their end goal. What are some of the expectations when one falls head over heels in love? Compare the list below.

 

•  Difficulty sleeping 

•  Poor appetite 

•  Emotions running high 

•  Behaving out of character 

 

​These emotions and changes are challenging, nonetheless the journey is like utopia. Interestingly theses emotions also apply to those suffering with depression, compare the list below.

 

​•  Sporadic eating habits

•  Poor judgement 

•  Poor appetite 

•  Difficulty functioning effectively in the morning

•  Mood swings such as: depression, hopelessness, anxiety and resentment

 

 

Evidently, how your mind perceives a challenge affects the energy you choose to embrace. In fact the more you tackle your challenges the less challenges you accumulate. We can use numerous qualities to reduce or manage problems, check out the examples below. (Some points only apply to those engaging in a relationship.)

 

1.     Be encouraging

2.     Demonstrate loyalty

3.     Be respectful

4.     Be responsible and accountable for your actions

5.     Conduct yourself as a team member

6.     Be compromising

7.     Be patient

8.     Be understanding

9.     Keep up your appearance

10.   Take care of your duties

11.   Regularly and tactfully encourage your partner

12.   Do not habitually voice unnecessary negative remarks to or about your partner

13.   Do not enhance their load when he/she is feeling distress

14.   Maintain hygiene

15.   Be attentive

16.   Be financially stable/responsibility

17.   Be ambitious

18.   Be considerate

19.   Be supportive

20.   Embrace person development

September 1st 2015   

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When you are encountering turbulence in your relationship how do you assess who or what is to blame?
 
August 31st 2015
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I disagree this not always the case,

Sometimes such reasoning can be deemed as misplaced.

Sometimes the man is not weak but feels used or abused,

Sometimes the woman is on a self-denial egotistical cruise.

Sometimes the turbulence is not coming from the man,

Sometimes the woman cannot see or appreciate a good moral stand,

Sometimes she has no interest in his dreams goals, or future plans.

Sometimes the woman's evaluation skills are deluded or bleak,

Sometimes it is the woman's self-esteem that is weak.

 

Sometimes the man feels wounded because he is actually depressed,

Sometimes he is having difficulty to surpass consequential mental tests.

Sometimes he has lost the will to express himself to deaf ears,

Sometimes he feels worthless as he is plagued with inner fears.

 

Some men feel intimidated by a strong woman that’s true,

But sometimes they are put off by negativities that she chooses to pursue.

On the same token if he is a weak man and he cannot help himself,

In all fairness, how do you expect him to care for anyone else?

If he has no rational to manage his ethics, emotions and mental health,

What is the probability that he can provide a love that is truly heart felt?

 

Besides what are the chances of a strong woman entertaining a weak man?

Logically would such characteristics even fit into her solid plans?

Particularly as this may compromise or hinder her stability and spiritual wealth,

Remember a strong woman is likely to set up boundaries to protect herself.

This allows the regulations of the ‘tell, tell’ no-go area flags to peak-

Otherwise she herself will become worn down damaged and eventually deemed as weak.

 

In conclusion I’d say when your partner feels lost or vulnerable for whatever reason,

If they’re worth the fight, prepare yourself for the path of emotional treason.

     Copyright © All Rights Reserved ~ Rare Diamond 2012

 

 

Your relationship journey will be based on the energies you and your partner share from the start, there is no guarantee that you won’t make mistakes when interacting with a partner, a potential partner or even just a friend. However, reasonable boundaries are protective tools if you maintain them effectively. It’s not about your appearance because that only satisfies visual desires or temporary lust; it’s about your personal strengths, weakness and how productively you interact with others that counts. 

 

If you are facing relationship challenges, previous problem solving techniques have failed and you have no idea what to do or how to find a solution, seek professional advice. This could be obtained via your local GP, advice centers, counselling services and so on. You could also obtain additional support via mature friends, family members or message me using the contact page on this site. In any case when challenges arise please address them because they will not simply disappear.  

 

Your journey to make your dreams a reality.
 
 
  August 18th 2015
Looking for the ideal relationship. 

 

When you are pursuing your dreams remember, success requires a plan and you will experience challenges too. Consider the journey as a baby leaves their mother’s womb and enters into the world. The journey is deeply intense both mentally and physically, some don’t even make it. Likewise, achieving your dream, goals or desires requires determination and sometimes strength of an extraordinary kind. Every path leading to a successful outcome carries obstacles but the real test is whether you have the determination and self-esteem to surpass the trails, tribulations and obstacles. The ball is in your court.

 

 

A growing trend.

 

We can see the current situation in relation to Domestic violence and its growing trend.  Domestic violence is one of many forms of ‘Domestic Abuse’ and this is disturbingly widespread.  With that in mind I decided to discuss Domestic Abuse and the art of Submission.

 

 

 

What is domestic abuse? 

 

According to england.shelter.org.uk Domestic abuse is when someone in a close relationship with you behaves in a way that causes you physical, mental, or emotional damage. This doesn't have to be physical violence. Domestic abuse includes any incident of threatening behaviour. Domestic abuse can be psychological, physical, social, financial or emotional. 

 

Clearly anyone in this predicament is vulnerable to say the least. Abusers rely on their victim’s submission so that they can access ‘mind control and borrow confidence’. Therefore both the abuser and the victim are rendered vulnerable because they are emotionally unbalanced.

 

So what are the signs of a vulnerable or emotionally unbalance person?

 

  • Aggressive

  • Forceful

  • Loud

  • Arrogant

  • Disrespectful

  • Argumentative

  • Violent

  • Disloyalty

  • Lazy

  • Bully

  • Patronizing

  • Denial

  • Liars                      

  • Crook

 

Naturally from time to time we all tap into negative energy/behaviour but a constant flow of negative thoughts and behaviour is dangerous, at minimum it attacks positive thinking and positive behaviour. And this brings us back to the subject matter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Domestic abuse and Submission

 

In today’s world people naturally make a stand for their human rights and quite rightly so but sensible boundaries need to be in place too.  Domestic abuse is on the increase and as a relationship advisor this subject is very close to my heart. Over the years it has become apparent to me that controlling people often become controlling partners in their relationships. Alas some women feel trapped in their relationship while others voluntarily surrender to exploited submission and compromise their safety in an attempt to maintain acquired financial stability or pacify their feelings of guilt, vulnerability or regrets. 

 

 

Past negative and abusive experiences, learned behaviour, observations and or misguided knowledge can create distorted perceptions towards submission, therefore some frown upon the practice while some endorse it. Please bear in mind that submission is not oppressive unless it is abused. If the leader is an abuser their subjects will be damaged too, this is why some women have lost faith in men and then transform into some of the undesirable characters that we witness in society today.

 

How can submission be exploited?

 

Some men believe that total obedience without any question is deemed a woman in submission, (conscious and subconscious). However this is not the case, in fact the correct term is emotional abuse. There is nothing wrong with a woman allowing her man to take the lead but I do not advocate the concept of women tolerating unreasonable controlling demands in a bid to attain piece in her relationship. For a start it is a self-destructive method and the intended goal is unlikely to be achieved. One should make it their duty to protect their own health and mental wellbeing because those who are unbalanced usually encounter relentless turmoil.

 

 

 

What is the purpose of Submission?

 

They must become one flesh, compare the Holy Scriptures- Genesis, chapter 2- verse 24 (This why a man will leave his father and his mother and he will stick to his wife and they will become one flesh.)  Ephesians, chapter 5- verse 33) Nevertheless, each one of you must love his wife and as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.)

 

 

Religious or not, a man needs to feel like a man, a leader, a provider and someone that others look up to, In fact some men compare themselves to a lion, as we well know the lion is regarded as the king of the jungle. Likewise men have a natural desire to lead and protect, in other words demonstrate leadership; this is part of their makeup! IF THEY ARE UNABLE TO EMBRACE SUCH A SETTING THEY MAY LOOK ELSEWHERE.

 

Expected Roles

Consider the roles of a lion and lioness. This is a natural example of submission.

 

A male is the head of the pride and his lioness, his main job is to protect the unit from potential threats. The natural instinct of a lion is to attack anything that threatens the safety of his pride and ownership of his woman. A lion protects his pride and his queen; likewise a man should protect his pride and his queen.  Pride meaning: Family, self-respect, ambition, personal responsibility and honesty. Meanwhile a man should regard himself and his woman as one flesh, in doing so there is a high chance that he will respect his partner and her needs too.

 

The lioness role is of equal importance, she protects the clubs and instils hunting and survival skills. She is the main hunter ensuring that food is available to feed the pride, hence the pride runs smoothly. Naturally it would cause mayhem and possible fatalities if their job roles were reversed. Women are the same; an able woman will support their partner’s productive efforts to maintain stability. Women represent a number of roles within the home such as a cook, cleaner, nurse, referee, counsellor, mediator and pacifier to say but a few.  Fortunately women don’t need to hunt like lionesses because we have outlets such as online shopping, superstore and local grocery stores at our disposal.  

 

It is true to say that in these modern times it is often necessary for women to work in order to help maintain finances within the household and some choose to strive by climbing the ladder of promotions within their work field.  In fact sometimes the woman earns a higher wage than her partner but this does not mean that she should regard him as inferior or beneath her. In terms of her relationship a woman should provide a platform that allows her partner to feel like the frontrunner regardless of her abilities and achievements.

 

Is it appropriate to have two leaders?

 

If you are driving a car just imagine if two people were fighting to manage the steering wheel while the car was moving, the outcome could be a disaster. A captain needs the valued support of his crew in order for the ship to sail and be maintained smoothly but in every ship you can only have ONE captain ONE leader!

 

 

 

 

The Benefits of Submission

 

Contrary to some people views, a woman is not timid or stupid simply because they are submissive to their partner. Submission = unity, oneness, accomplishment and mutual respect (providing it is not abused). It is a known saying that  'behind every powerful man there is a strong woman'.   It takes power, patience, insight, maturity and compromise to secure the aptitude to support a healthy relationship regardless of gender. Truly there are great benefits when a couple demonstrates mutual appreciation, humility and positive communication because a productive relationship requires a loving foundation to progress. 

 

 

Relationships are all about the ingredients within, what ingredients maintain your cooking pot?

 

P.N. Ladies and gentlemen I reiterate please be warned, when submissiveness is exploited in many cases the outcome is a precarious toxic relationship. If you find yourself in this predicament you are putting yourself in potential danger. Abused submissiveness is self-destructive and risky; therefore it is essential that you take the required steps to tackle your situation in order to ensure that you preserve your safety and self-respect. 

 

Signs of toxic relationships

Here are some things that you should not be habitually asking...

          Why are you doing this to me?

          Why do you behave as though you don’t like me?

          How can you do this to me?

          Can't you see that what you are doing affects me?

          Tell me, what have I done to deserve this?

          How can you be this way and feel no remorse?

          Why don’t you consider my feeling?

          Why are you being so unreasonable?

 

Keep focused and stay safe.

 

Copyright © All Rights Reserved ~ Rare Diamond 2012

 

Does Your Vagina Become Tighter If You Have Less Sex? 

August 8th 2015

Inspired by: http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/do-vaginas-get-tighter-with-less-sex  

 

My view:   The vaginal muscles work with the same rules as all muscles. If I entertain an excessive eating habit without regular exercise, eventually my stomach muscles are likely to get a bit lose.  Logically if I wish to see changes I will be required to follow an exercise plan to re-strengthen my muscles. Likewise if you want to maintain your vaginal size you can follow an exercise/ plan for that too. Pelvic floor exercise is an effective and free method to strengthen your vaginal muscles which in turn can reduce its size. For additional sexual pleasure your vaginal muscles can also be used during sex to squeeze your partner's penis.

 

Life is too short, missing out on fun and excitement in fear that you may expand is a none-productive concept. In some cases irregular sex can even compromise the quality of your performance. Obviously if you overwork any muscle there will be a consequential impact because all muscles need time to recuperate and repair. However we must be realistic, what is the main purpose associated to a vagina besides childbirth and discarding liquid waste? Is it not engaging in the art of sex?  Ladies, if you are not happy about your size do something about it. After all if your hair is damaged would you simply stop combing it? No you would arrange a repair program to address the concern. Likewise if you have a concern or challenge don’t give up, seek effective methods to address the matter effectively. 

 

Rare Diamond.

Evaluate your words and attitude. 

 

July 31st 2015

Relationships and feelings

 

Have you ever said or done something against your desires or values just to prove a point? I know I have done so several times.  Would you say engaging in behaviour against your character is a wise course to follow? Of course not. Nonetheless in some instances a particular type of action is required to accomplish a productive goal. However if you are driven by an unhealthy ego your common sense may be desensitised, your choices may be self-destructive and thus likely to generate turbulence in your relationship.

 

 

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship in fact the process to build a solid relationship is a complex journey to say the least, I repeat my favourite quote, 'ultimately the real test of durability occurs when challenges arise'. Some couples simply don’t know how to address challenges and therefore either ignore them or use none effective methods to address them.

 

 

 

 

  The power of words!  

 

 

 

 Your partner is not pulling their weight. How do you describe him/her? 

 

 

 

  • He/she is a lost, lazy waste of space

  • He/she is useless and don’t care

  • He/she is a childish idiot

  • He/she is selfish

  •  

           or

 

  • He/she is a wounded person in need of motivation

  • He/she is a person behaving out of character

  • He/she is a person facing emotional challenges

  •  

 

Your perception about your partner will shape your interaction and attitude towards them because even if you attempt to hide it; one way or another your partner will be aware of your views. Here’s the point, you have the power to decide how you choose to communicate. Compassion insight and perseverance tends to stimulate positive progress and enhances a positive relationship. Selfishness, lack of comprehension and blame games drive toxic and abusive relationships. If indeed your partner is encountering challenges don’t add weight to their trials by voicing hurtful none productive comments.  Consider how it would make you feel if you continuously heard degrading comments and allegations, (perhaps you already know). Bear in mind, relentless criticising damages self-esteem and may add fuel to a rocky relationship. Don’t allow a challenge to become your rage, remember you can’t control a person’s behaviour but you CAN control your reactions.

In extreme cases e.g. victims of complex trauma, navigating thoughts and feelings will require intense therapy because those with deep-rooted scars have great difficulty regulating their emotions and actions. Well intended family and friends often say, don’t worry, you will be fine in time, but time alone does not heal all wounds. The victim will require professional assistance to begin an effective repair program and acquire additional coping mechanisms.

 

Copyright © All Rights Reserved ~ Rare Diamond 2012

 

 

Our conduct and choices affect others.

 

 

July 23th 2015

 

When a relationship is at breaking point children feel the impact too,

Ensure that arguing and bickering in their presence you do not pursue.

Ensure that they do not witness back and forth petty blame games,

Ensure that your actions are nurturing as they attempt to manage their own pain.

Remember they too are confused, distraught and probably feel at fault,

Therefore it’s essential to set time aside to have meaningful talks.

Tell them that they are dearly loved and their fan list stands tall,

Remind them that they have nothing to do with the relationship downfall.

Children best thrive in a positive environment with illustrative positive roles,

Therefore regardless of the pain or anguish you may be feeling in your soul.

Avoid instilling potential learned behaviour by treating your co-parent cold,

Remember it is both negative and painful to witness a loved one scold. 

The reality is, if you are a parent this carries a consequential toll-

To preserve peace harmony and love within your household,

In fact, everyone, young and old can benefit if they pursue these goals.

 

Copyright © All Rights Reserved ~ Rare Diamond 2012

Self-evaluations

 

 

He was a people pleaser

July 11th 2015

Supporting others is a rewarding experience for many it is a wonderful feeling to be appreciated; in this instance making small sacrifices for a good cause is fine, as long as you prioritize your personal responsibilities. However, some individuals become what I call people pleasers, in other words they assists others in a subconscious hope for recognition and self-esteem in return. These seemingly good intentions can spiral out of control and fuel a poor balance in terms of rational safeguarding restraints.

 

Consider my former clients, I will call them Mr and Mrs P. It was evident that Mr P became a people pleaser. Mr P was a kind and giving man but he lacked self-confidence and was mistreated by his work colleagues and friends. In an attempt to feel accepted and worthy Mr P often assisted others even though it was not practical or financially beneficial for him to do so. Mrs P frequently expressed that Mr P lacked compassion and shared little quality time with her. Mrs P was right, not because Mr P didn’t love her but because he habitually sacrificed his positive energies to others and therefore he had none left to offer her. Meanwhile Mr P’s so called friends and work colleagues continued to be ungrateful opportunists, ultimately this enhanced his lacking confidence. Heated discussing became the norm and the turbulence in the relationship became unbearable for Mrs P, she realised that her marriage was at breaking point and decided to seek relationship advice.

 

As you can see Mr P chose a none-productive problem solving technique to address his self-esteem challenges and he suffered the consequential abuse, disappointments and marital turbulence. Indeed it is important to appreciate and grow positive relationships with others but it is equally important to appreciate and grow a positive relationship with yourself.

 

 

 

A message for you. (Taken from my ‘Relationships and Feelings’ manual)

 

  'Self-respect enhances self-confidence',  

 

Let me share a few 'food for thought' important facts,

Those who truly respect themselves cover their own back,

They have productive relationships and their positive driving force is on track.

They do not allow their emotions to be controlled by things that other people say or do,

Why? Because their time is limited, they have plenty profitable goals to pursue.

Most observers admire their attitude towards people and how they live their life,

If you are a close associate you will benefit from their glowing motivational light.

So, if you wish to be happy and envision yourself as a success,

Ensure that the relationship you have with yourself is truly God blessed.

 

 

Personal growth

 

What tools can you use to preserve a positive relationship with yourself?

I have a few suggestions under my belt,

Here are three basic tools: good hygiene, mental stability and physical health.

Ok let’s break down these factors: basic tool number one,

Maintain daily hygiene and check that your chores are done,

Remember subjection to smells and dirt are uninviting experiences to succumb.

The value of your character is basic tool number two,

Assess this by establishing if positive people behave in the same manner as you-

If not take notes, mimic their methods, what they say and do.

Basic tool number three: eat well, sleep well, balance exercise and rest,

Meditate, pamper yourself and allow your mind to de-stress,

If you do these things your state of mind is more likely to pass forthcoming tests.


Copyright © All Rights Reserved ~  Rare Diamond

 

(P.S Mr P is no longer a people pleaser, he is happily building a solid relationship with his wife.)

 

Challenges  

 

July 1st 2015

 

We have all experienced or seen a loved one in a toxic relationship at one time or another and as you know this can be a real challenge. When my clients are faced with serious challenging issues, we identify and tackle the possible driving forces behind the situation, after which I frequently share these tips, guidelines and warnings with others. My client gave me permission to share her case with you. (The couple's names have been changed)

 

What would you do if you were in the following situation? 

 

 
Case study: Mandy and Gary 

 

Mandy aged 28 and Gary aged 29 have two young children which the pair of them love dearly. They have been in a relationship for nearly 9 years and they have been living together for 7 years.

 

Both Gary and Mandy profess to love each other and they have a strong desire to raise their children together under the same roof. During the relationship, although Gary has obtained many short lived jobs he has been unemployed most of the time; therefore the household often lacks finances. Gary spends most of his days at home playing computer games or visiting friends till late at night. Meanwhile Mandy seems content to focus on surviving from day to day and exercises insufficient efforts to inspire progress. Gary also has an addiction and suffers with depression; he constantly highlights this reality on all levels. Mandy says she feels duty bound to endure a variety of situations. For example according to Mandy, Gary intimidates and belittles her in the presence of their children, Gary has a history of been physically violent towards Mandy, this has caused damage to their property and Mandy has sustained injuries on a number of occasions. Gary says that Mandy does not understand him, or appreciate the efforts that he makes and she has poor social skills.

 

In addition recently the couple have been experiencing crippling financial demands. Guilt trips and blame games are exchanged on a daily basis, mainly due to Gary addiction, the impact of his behaviour, Mandy’s low self-esteem and her lack of self-motivation. What productive advice would you give Gary or Mandy to improve their situation?

 

 

        Here are some paraphrased responses during our relationship workshops:  

  • Tell Mandy to get rid of Gary

  • Gary should grow a pair

  • If Mandy stays with Gary her life won’t improve

  • Mandy your story brings back sad memories, I would get away from Gary

  • Gary needs support and a new sense of direction

  • Gary has no motivation or maturity

  • Mandy must think about how the home environment affects her and her children

  • Gary is probably stuck in a ruck, fortunately my family and friends supported me when I was feeling depressed

 

Written by Rare Diamond

Intimate relationships

 

June 21st 2015

Source: abstract from- Rare Diamond’s Relationship and feeling manual.

What do you yearn for in a partner? 

Most people view the concept of relationships as a natural expectation and work toward that end. However, despite the probable investments how many bother to exercise caution or recognise the importance of astute investigations? After all you are likely to entrust a partner, with your inner-self, your inner secrets and your inner soul.  As a consequence most people are somewhat at their partner’s mercy so to speak because they disclose private information and unveil intimate personal details about themselves. Needless to say if one or both parties lack loyalty, maturity and/or respect, ultimately turbulence will be a feasible expectation. On the same token if mutual love, loyalty and trust permeates a relationship then the sky is the limit in terms of progress.

Personal assessment 

The dynamics of relationship is a complex process, can you mentally manage and support a productive relationship? Preferably before you decide to engage in an intimate relationship it is wise to do some soul searching first. Ask yourself:

  • Can my qualities support a good relationship and will I use them?

  • Am I an emotionally grounded person?

  • What personal challenges do I need to address?

  • How do I feel about negotiating? 

The answer to these questions will have an impact on the quality of your relationship. Some individuals view the art of assessment as a perceived inconvenience and avoid or downplay the process, warning this is likely to formulate a rocky foundation thus creating a bumpy ride. In view of this, improve your prospects of engaging in a successful relationship. If you are not sure where to start, you can access advice and support via the internet, a relationship advisor, a counsellor or general advisory services, alternately you could speak with or receive advice from family members and or close friends.  

Accessing useful advice 

When seeking or dating a partner the evaluation process can be a daunting experience however, there is a wide range of tactics and suggestions accessible to address this subject matter. For example there has been much debate about the 90 day rule technique, which is a guide to observe and test the quality of a potential partner’s values. Some allude to the notion that this is a weak game which can be used to manipulate either or both parties to create a misguided perception, while others swear by its proficiency. Irrespectively some recommendations mentioned are undeniably useful while engaging in a relationship as you will find in most reputable relationship guide books.

What are your relationship expectations? 

Most people like to envision a perfect relationship filled with love and dedication however this is unrealistic, we all have faults and weakness to contend with and we live in an imperfect world. This is not to say we cannot have a productive bond but what are the benchmarks? A productive bond is accomplished when your values and needs are coherent with your relationship and life style; with this in mind take the time out to document your expectations. Once you have established your needs, values and what you are looking for in your relationship, you can research options and tips to employ strategies that will help develop and accommodate your aspirations.

                                                                                                                                        

Source: abstract from- Rare Diamond’s Relationship and feeling manual.

Copyright © All Rights Reserved ~  Rare Diamond 2012

When you are seeking a partner surely you’d want to fish out and avoid the weeds, that said what is the required process? Various rhetorical questions need to be considered such as:

 

How does he/she treat their parents? (The manner in which a person cares for their mother and their obedience and respect towards their father, can provide insight on how they are likely to treat you.)

  •  

 

What types of characters do they associate with and how do they treat them? (This can help you identify their morals, demeanour, tolerance or lack of tolerance.)

  •  

 

What was their childhood environment? (This can help you to gain insight about their background, identify potential learned behaviour and consider the possible traits/consequences.)

  •  

 

What are their future goals? (This will assist you to establish their degree of ambition and their envisioned lifestyle.)

 

Are they responsible? (A responsible person will defend and enrich a productive relationship.)

 

Are they reliable? (Trustworthy individuals tend to support stability because they abide by their promises and keep agreements)

 

Are they open-minded? (Productive relationships best take shape when the couple is willing to listen and prepared compromise with each other’s views or desires if or when required.)

 

What are they looking for in a relationship? (This will help you establish if their desires and values can harmonise with yours.)

 

 

Once you have completed your research and established the likely prospects, this can assist you to define whether the person is a suitable candidate or not. It is fair to say that some individuals are determined to pull the wool over your eyes and will go to great lengths to keep up their act to achieve their goal. Bear in mind these character usual expose themselves in time, patience is the key!

   Looking at the basics:

 

 June 13th 2015

Source: abstract from- Rare Diamond’s Relationship and feeling manual.

 

 

   Start as you mean to go on 

Naturally it is a wise course to assess and monitor the characteristics of your partner but it is equally important to assess and monitor your own characteristic and values too. Enjoy the journey and treat your potential partner in the same manner as you would treat a new friend but be sure to safeguard and maintain your moral standards in the process, in other words don’t sell yourself or values short.

Personal rules and regulations can be an overbearing none-productive torment to your soul and spirit if they lack practicality. Some individuals choose to manage their relationships like a rigid do’s and don’ts achievement course, meanwhile challenges perpetuate the relationship. Those who entertain this laborious experience miss out on the fun factor and hinder possible insight during the honeymoon stage. In most cases neither party will attain their comfort zone therefore this praxis is non-productive, particularly if you are conducting character evaluations. When a platform is not provided how can a person’s traits truly glow, good or bad? It is ok to be adventurous but be safe, it’s ok to have fun but don’t devalue yourself.  Indeed caution and boundaries are productive measures to use when engaging in or embarking on a new relationship but they shouldn’t be uncalled-for or unachievable intents. 

 

 

Copyright © All Rights Reserved ~ Rare Diamond)

  Boundaries 

© 2014 Rare Diamond